You Might Be A Horse Husband If…

A couple years ago I wrote a poem called Ode To The Horse Widower, to honor those amazing partners who respect our passion, however frustrating it might be for them at times. (I have no idea how hay got in the bed!) I love sharing that poem around Valentines day but I started thinking, what if they don’t they’re a horse widower? What if they have no idea there’s thousands of other horse husbands out there, just like them?

Horse Husband Barn Husband

So I created the below reference guide for those who are trying to decide if they’re a horse husband or not. Are you a horse husband? Do you know one?

  1. If there’s a horse in the barn referred to as the “husband horse” that you only ride once a year, you might be a horse husband.
  2. If you ever thought she was talking about you when she told her friends, “He’s an easy keeper,” you might be a horse husband.
  3. If you trip over her shoes inside the house, and trip over her boots outside the house, you might be a horse husband.
  4. If she rakes the barn aisles every day, but only vacuums the house every couple of months, you might be a horse husband.
  5. If you’ve ever missed a football game to watch your wife in a horse show, you might be a horse husband.
  6. If you’re not exactly sure how much money she spends on horses every month, you might be a horse husband.
  7. If your wife cries a lot and is cheating on you with a guy named Buck, you might be a horse husband.
  8. If you suddenly find yourself having time for long naps on the weekends, you might be a new horse husband.
  9. If you’ve ever had to fix the washing machine because a round of filthy blankets jammed it up, you might be a horse husband.
  10. If you’ve ever faked a back injury to get out of stacking hay, you might be a horse husband.
  11. If you’re annoyed your wife spends money on new shoes every 6-8 weeks, you might be a horse husband.
  12. If you’ve ever been late for dinner reservations because your wife had to swing by the barn for “just a minute,” you might be a horse husband.
  13. If you’ve ever lingered at the edge of the arena, resetting jumps, you might be a horse husband
  14. If she spends $200 on a vet bill for a cough, but tells you to quit being a baby when you have the flu, you might be a horse husband.
  15. If you’ve ever said “Take your time at the barn,” so you could finish a football game, you might be a horse husband.
  16. If you’ve ever had to do barn chores because your wife was sick, you might be a horse husband.

And finally, if you think your wife likes her horse more than you, you might be a horse EX-husband!

What’s missing from the list? What needs to be added?

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Wyoming Husband Approved Horse Back Ride

How To Tell If Youre A Horse Husband

Ode to The Horse Widower

You’ve heard of the horse whisperer, but have you heard of a “horse widower?” Urban Dictionary defines it as horse owners, usually women, who give their horses the best of everything and inevitably neglect their spouses. Ha ha, sounds about right.

The below poem was my very first blog post ever, but I thought sharing it before Valentine’s Day seemed fitting. You can send it to your sweetie and tell him even though you didn’t write it, it was written with him in mind. I hope you enjoy it and have a happy Valentine’s Day!

An Ode To The Horse Widower

If he wanted a cleaner house

A wife without hay in her hair and bra

If he didn’t want his truck used for moving hay

If he wouldn’t help move 1000’s of pounds of hay for me every few months

If he wanted a wife with a hot meal on the dinner table at 6pm and not at the barn until twilight

If these were the desires of my husband’s heart

He wouldn’t be with me.

Because my house is rarely clean.

You can always find hay in my hair, bra and other places

Sometimes it’s even sprinkled throughout our house

He got his truck so we could move hay

And someday haul horses

Moving hay is never fun, but he smiles his wry smile, gives me a wink and pretends to hate me for it

Thank God for crock pots and a husband who supports my independent nature

Supports his wife who regularly spends hours at the barn instead of at home

The desires of my husband’s heart are a happy and passionate wife

God bless my husband.


Horse Husband Horse Widower
This photo captures our relationship perfectly: me, hands-on-hips, ready to get something done, and my adoring husband kicked back ready to relax with our dogs. Photo courtesy of Mike McCracken

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Ode To The Horse Widower Poem