You Might Be A Horse Husband If…

A couple years ago I wrote a poem called Ode To The Horse Widower, to honor those amazing partners who respect our passion, however frustrating it might be for them at times. (I have no idea how hay got in the bed!) I love sharing that poem around Valentines day but I started thinking, what if they don’t they’re a horse widower? What if they have no idea there’s thousands of other horse husbands out there, just like them?

Horse Husband Barn Husband

So I created the below reference guide for those who are trying to decide if they’re a horse husband or not. Are you a horse husband? Do you know one?

  1. If there’s a horse in the barn referred to as the “husband horse” that you only ride once a year, you might be a horse husband.
  2. If you ever thought she was talking about you when she told her friends, “He’s an easy keeper,” you might be a horse husband.
  3. If you trip over her shoes inside the house, and trip over her boots outside the house, you might be a horse husband.
  4. If she rakes the barn aisles every day, but only vacuums the house every couple of months, you might be a horse husband.
  5. If you’ve ever missed a football game to watch your wife in a horse show, you might be a horse husband.
  6. If you’re not exactly sure how much money she spends on horses every month, you might be a horse husband.
  7. If your wife cries a lot and is cheating on you with a guy named Buck, you might be a horse husband.
  8. If you suddenly find yourself having time for long naps on the weekends, you might be a new horse husband.
  9. If you’ve ever had to fix the washing machine because a round of filthy blankets jammed it up, you might be a horse husband.
  10. If you’ve ever faked a back injury to get out of stacking hay, you might be a horse husband.
  11. If you’re annoyed your wife spends money on new shoes every 6-8 weeks, you might be a horse husband.
  12. If you’ve ever been late for dinner reservations because your wife had to swing by the barn for “just a minute,” you might be a horse husband.
  13. If you’ve ever lingered at the edge of the arena, resetting jumps, you might be a horse husband
  14. If she spends $200 on a vet bill for a cough, but tells you to quit being a baby when you have the flu, you might be a horse husband.
  15. If you’ve ever said “Take your time at the barn,” so you could finish a football game, you might be a horse husband.
  16. If you’ve ever had to do barn chores because your wife was sick, you might be a horse husband.

And finally, if you think your wife likes her horse more than you, you might be a horse EX-husband!

What’s missing from the list? What needs to be added?

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