Confessions From A Pretend Groom

Blacksands Black Arabian Stallion

Two years ago I helped out at a horse show and wrote about how important it is to thank the grooms. That’s still true. But I think two years ago I was only an intern, doing the most basic of tasks and just trying to stay out of the way. I didn’t even know what a groom bag was back then.

This time around though, I helped out with feet fully in the fire. Up at 5 or 5:30am, depending on the day. Over 28 miles walked in three days. Kept upright by coffee and cookies and the occasional boiled egg. Punchy by 8’clock at night but still going because the job’s not done until the last horse has been shown and cooled and iced.

Early Morning Horse Trainer Staff Meeting
Early morning staff meeting.

I always knew the trainers and grooms worked hard. But there’s a difference between knowing something to be true and seeing it three inches from your face. When your hands are cracking from the rinse/slick/ice/tie routine 15 to 20 times a day. When your feet hurt bad enough that you change your shoes and socks halfway through the day, just so you can feel a different kind of pain. When you go to sleep and dream there’s a horse on the far side of the stalls that needs to be untied and you’re trying to wake up from your dream to go take care of it. That’s a groom. That’s a glimmer of a trainer’s world.

To be clear, I’m not complaining. Helping out at a show suits me. It puts my brain to work and rounds out the hard edges of my nerves. They’re still there, but they’re blunted by fatigue and spending the days making sure other clients are ready to go: horses tacked up, legs wrapped, hooves picked. Service to others makes it pretty hard for feelings of self-doubt to elbow their way in. Not to mention, if you’re busting your ass, you belong. There’s no room for imposter syndrome.

If you want to become a better rider, take lessons.

If you want to learn about horse care, talk to a groom.

But if you want to know what goes into training a horse, become a groom.
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Even if only for a day. And not that silly half-assed one like I was two years ago. Be the gritty kind that gets up with the team, mud smeared on your jeans and horse slobber all down your jacket. Take instructions, sometimes barked, listen for every nugget you can use. Write them down because your sleep-deprived brain won’t remember them later. Watch how each person puts their hands on your horse and their belief in your ride. You will be amazed at how much goes into each horse.

That’s a training barn you want to be in.

That’s a training program you can learn from.

After all, the truly passionate, aren’t in it for the ribbons. We’re in it to be better horsewomen (and horsemen). We’re in it for the thrill of a great go: when horse and rider come together as a team, overcoming obstacles and growing together.

The really good trainers are proudest when they get to see a client have that kind of ride.

And the grooms are proud too.

Even the pretend ones.


5 responses to “Confessions From A Pretend Groom”

  1. These days, I’d rather grooming than ride. Right at this moment is a beautiful eyes candy gelding that would rather smash me up against the wall and thrash me with his hooves because he’s buddy sour, his brain is hot peanut butter sliding all over the place and I own the dumbass. He was s’posed to replace the one I lost, but I’m in over my head with this guy. He’s 20 years old, got a huge motor and is stubborn to a fault. There’s a reason WHY people unload horses like these….and I was the sucker.

      • He requires an experienced rider who can keep him engaged mind wise and his feet busy. In no way do I trust him at this point in the game. If he’s trying to squish me like a bug; I’m not too proud to say that I’m in over my head. My friend/trainer is willing to try and figure him out….before he becomes a permanent pasture ornament.

  2. Grooms and good barn help — whether it be in a show barn, breeding facility, or sales barn — are some of the most valuable, yet some of the most unrecognized in the whole operation. They go about their tasks, behind the scenes, sometimes foregoing a quick bite to eat to put that extra shine on that horse, or to run and grab the mare on the far end because two hours ago she wasn’t ready and is now in full standing-heat.
    Kudos to those who can stand up to the rigorous schedules that are demanded.

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